26.10  Gareth Pike: Day in the life of a freelancer: Part deux*   |  Having recently moved house, from a tiny if trendy box in Gardens, to a rambling homestead in Hout Bay,  I thought I should re-visit “A Day in the Life…” - and at the same time, hopefully impart a couple of Gandalf-worthy tips and advice for all you ‘lancers out there...

4:30am

Alarm goes off. Only it’s not an alarm; it’s our 14-week old Scottish Terrier WHO NEEDS TO GO WEE, NOW DADDY PLEASE. I switch off the ADT, fall out of bed, grab the dog, unlock everything and begin to lurch, hobbling, towards the patch of grass Where We Do Our Business. I have a thorn in one foot and a dog-bitten toe on the other, hence the hobbling …and there’s a “we almost made it” wee puddle just inside the back door.

7:00am

Get wife up with coffee, kind words and several pokes in the ribs. It’s like a baby being born, every morning. While she prepares to drive to Parow for another hard-working day in Corporania, I set up the laptop in the home office. Twinge of guilt. I’m such a house-husband.

7.25am

No, I don’t want to be friends with you on Facebook, Steve. As emphasised before. You stole my hairstyle in 1989.  Be a Fan of EMPIRE OF THE SUN? Sure. An e-mail pings into being; it’s from an ad agency needing a 30-page booklet proofed. I can’t do it in time, so (and here is some Gandalf stuff) I palm it off to a retrenched, but reliable, writer colleague in Durban, with the proviso that I get a 20% cut. Easy money.

11:00am

Apply more Savlon to suppurating feet, then go check on the bougainvillea, conifer and 5 x lavenders I planted last week. Gardening, if you have that option (even in pot form), is a wonderful way to refresh yourself for the next brief of the day. I nearly stand on a baby snake; this one is grey and hissy, not quiet and sweet like the brown slug-eaters that prey on our army of garden snails. I run away – and Jack runs towards it. Puppies!

2:00pm

I realise I have been listening to SA FM and drooling vacantly into space for a few hours.  Top schools in S.A…yes, yes…and mine, Carter High, is in the Top 100!  You beauties. I phone my tax consultant and am agog/in awe to discover that SARS is crediting me with around 20K for the 2009 tax year. That, my friends, is the value of setting aside 25% of all freelance income, keeping your monthly income/expenses book updated, and taking on a small yet dedicated company to handle your tax returns. Seriously. Do not leave your tax fallow! I did in 2007 and SARS found me and whacked me for R30 000 owed. They are harsh masters; yet can be kind, if you are a good little hobbit with prudent habits. So get onto that e-filing.

3.30pm

Feed Jack some beer to make him sleep, after he has chewed up two library books, a clivia and my little finger. I wish I still had Ricardo the monkey. At least I could get him to write my copy for me (but then, we got paid peanuts in those days). Pop on to http://justtheplanet.com/sweet-life/ to see where in the world my intrepid travelling designer friends are. I wish I could visit the Seychelles.

4.59pm

Skip on over to Freelancentral , IOL, http://www.wired.com/wired/ , Busrep and 2Oceans. It’s vital to stay informed re the happenings of the day – remember, as a lancer you don’t really have colleagues to vibe off. Don’t let your brain dry up.

5.20pm

Update my Future Bookings list, and Invoicing Status list. Mail me at and I can show you what these are and how they just help you organise your time, income and workflow a bit more efficiently.

6:00pm

Order Don’t let’s go to the Dogs Tonight off Kalahari. Africana book of the decade, I reckon. Begin training Jack in Mac OSX for beginners. You will learn, my young apprentice! Log off my Tradepage - hosted wireless ADSL (good people, I have found), light up the braai and wonder why more people don’t work from home.

Tongs for reading…

Gareth Pike

* So irritating when writer types splurge on pretentious and overused terminology...